Jim Just Wanted To Go To Canada..

Jim was driving with his friends to Dave and Busters in Canada, but they encountered one major problem..... The Albinos ! The Albinos had found Jim, and this time they were ready to take him down. (In 1872, Jim had once been an albino himself, but with the help of surgery he became a normal person. The pack of albinos he was included in were furious when they found out and had been searching for Jim ever since.) At first Jim was really terrified, but when he looked around he only saw 4 albinos - he thought he could escape them easily, so he just drove a little faster. When suddenly a huge herd of albinos were riding on the backs of albino deer. There were at least 57 of them ! He thought he could just run them over, but they started eating the exterior of his car ! There was absolutely no way of escape, Jim and his friends knew it so his friends just fled away, leaving Jim to fight them off by him lonesome. Jim hopped on top of the car and flew over the crowd of car-hungry albinos and took off running. He just was not fast enough, and lets just say Jim never made it to that Canadian Dave and Busters.

I Must Say, This Was A KER-AZZY Weekend

Well, basically everything I do could be considered 'unusual' , but if I just had to pick one thing, I would say it was when I went shopping ONLINE. ( dun dun dun ) It all started last week as just another ordinary day. I was at swim practice, practicing in a very old suit, when I got out of the pool and realized my suit was deteriorating right before my eyes ! I needed a new suit, and quick !  (Okay , it may not have been as drastic as I make it out to be , but I did, indeed, need to buy a new suit. ) So when I went home that night, I went up to my mom and said, "Mom, I need a new suit." Believe it or not, she replied with "Okay." Although, I did not have time right then to go shopping , so I had to play the waiting game. When Saturday rolled around , I honestly did not want to go out anywhere or do anything, but I was still new-suit-less. I  did remember hearing about some magically amazing site located on the internet called 'swimoutlet.com' , so I hopped on my computer to look it up. Well I found it right away, turns out it is very popular in the swim world, so I was very excited ! This was my first online shopping adventure. ( I almost always just go to Crocker Park or some mall when I go shopping, even though I surf other online shopping sites, I have never bought anything. ) All I did was find the suit I wanted, then I hit the 'add to cart' button (my mom filled out all of the shipping and billing details) , and wah-la! I had ordered a new suit. It should be here by Thursday, so the excitement has not yet diminished. 

That , dear friends and followers, was my unusual weekend tale. 


PS I am happy I used the word diminished. 

This is the suit I bought ^

Crocs ? More Like 'Can You Nots'.

( Before I start I would just like to point out how clever the title for this is... Do not judge me. )


One thing in this world I would change would be that I would have to make crocs illegal. Every time I see someone wearing crocs I honestly want a tree to fall on them. If someone would happen to be caught wearing crocs, I say we have a town meeting, and everyone in the town should push a tree over on the person wearing the awful foot attire. Now some people try the excuse that they are 'homeless' and crocs are 'cheap', but I say nay ! I will also start a nationwide organization to raise money to buy croc wearers (hobos) real shoes . It would be called 'Crocs are not tasty' or CANT for short, and then no one will ever wear crocs again and we can burn all of them.


*CROCS ARE NOT CUTE. SPREAD THE WORD AND STOP THE MADNESS 

 a note from Ivy , to you. 

Scuba Diving, Anyone ?

If I could choose one thing I have never done before, then I would go scuba diving. I want to swim with the dolphins and see real-live sharks. I love fish and if I had the chance to swim with one, my life would basically be complete. I would also love to see all the different parts of the undersea world ! I would want to go to Hawaii, The Great Barrier Reef, The Bahamas, and just about anywhere there is water. Just imagine me, swimming around like a mermaid. <3

Everyone Needs Glitter

To enrich the world, I would design a glitter machine - or a 'glitter gun' if you will. This particular machine will allow the person who controls it, the ability to have glitter wherever or whenever their heart may desire. It functions by the use of magic, so no mortal knows how it works (Only the sparkle fairies know, but that is a story for another time). How does it benefit society ? Well, that is just a ridiculous question, everyone needs glitter. Imagine a world with no more boring shoes, ugly hair, or bland people. The glitter gun will fix all of the days ugly problems.Shimmer up the car, spice up that latte, or bedazzle a baby, just have fun with it !   So whoo hoo.

(Property idea by Ivanna Lynette Esser-Whidden ; if anyone steals this idea they will be prosecuted. No Mercy.)







VOTE FOR PEDRO AND IVY , YO.

If I could do anything .....

If money were no option......hmmmm.....this is a tough decision. But, if I could do anything I wanted then I would swim for the rest of my life. I would build and open my own Olympic sized pool. Swim teams could practice, swim lessons would be taught, and people would just have fun. It would mainly be for swim meets and swim practice though. It would be so amazing that the Olympics would be held there! I would not just stop at a pool either, there would be basketball courts , volleyball courts , baseball fields , football fields , a golf range , a gymnasium and an ice rink. Name a sport , and I've got it ! This would deffidently help society because anyone could come exercise and play here. This would be my dream come true , since I could swim all day and I would be responsible for other people's happiness. (:
But I unfortunately can not do that, so I shall just become an Olympic swim coach and teach the best swimmers in the world. Perhaps I would earn enough money being a coach that I could open my own pool.

Just a hobby ?

I know I write about swim team a lot, but it really is my passion. Swimming is my life, it has consumed my heart, mind, and soul. My mom even says my natural scent is chlorine. I love the water, because it accepts me for who I am. No matter how many time I kick and punch at it, it just welcomes me back with open arms. Now some people may say swim is 'easy' and is 'just something you instinctively do before you drown,' but it is SO much more than that ! Swimmers flip more then gymnasts, go more yards then any runner, and kick harder then a kick-boxer. Swim also gives me the biggest rush ever, 0.14 seconds could literally be the difference between 1st and 5th place ! So the real question is swim just a hobby ? No, it is a life style. 

One thing I would change ..

When I was four years old , I joined my towns local swim team. It was the best thing I had ever done , it made me feel alive and so happy, but it was very expensive. Then , when I was 9 my parents got divorced, so I unfortunately had to quit swim because it was to hard to keep paying for it.  I would do anything to go back in time and change the way my life happened. If my parents did not get a divorce , I may never have had to stop swimming. I always think  I could have done something to keep them together. They say they split up because 'the spark just was not there anymore', but I can not help but feel like it was my fault. If they had stayed together , I never would have stopped swimming and we would be the perfect family. I would be able to see my dad everyday instead of just twice a week, I would see my whole family at holiday parties , instead of having two Christmas's. That is what I hate most, I do not have a complete family. If I could , I would go back and try to keep my mom and dad together. 

My dad 

My mom 

My best friend 🐶

There is only one thing in this world I cherish more then life itself - and as weird as it sounds - that would be my dog , Razor. I have had the privilege of being his best friend for 7 years now , and they have been the best years of my life. I do not know what I would do without Razor, he has been through everything with me. Including my parents divorce , sleeping, all the times I got grounded , eating , all my tears and even death. ( But our favorite thing to do is play fetch. (: ) Plus I can talk to him about anything , because miraculously he is a great listener ! He does not laugh at what I have to say or diss my dreams. He does not care what I wear or how I look, he just loves me for who I am, and I love him back 100 times more ! 

My Summer >>> Yours

This summer has been one of the best by far, because I got my dream job. Tanning all day, endless swimming, free food, and hot guys are just part of the gig. That is right, I am a life guard. At first I thought it would be just a 'summer job', but I never realised just how thrilling life guarding could be. Think of being one of the only thing standing in the way between someones life and someones death. That is what it felt like...everyday, it was fantastic. But, do not get me wrong-it is not all rainbows and butterflies-life guarding is not an easy job to do. I had to learn first aid, CPR, how to use an AED (which as a device used during CPR to give out shock waves), the proper way to back board a victum, and so much more. I also had to do many tests, proving I had the strength and endurance to swim a long time-while holding myself and another person above the water. So even though the pool was fun and fabulous, it alwasy kept me busy. But it is my life and I would not have asked for anything better. (:

My Fantastic Name.

Ivanna Lynette Esser-Whidden. My name is 25 letters long. It means 'a gift from god'. But everyone knows me by just the 3 simple letters that make up Ivy. I have been swimming a little over three quarters of my life. I also use to play softball , but I was terrible. I own four dogs , 2 cats , 2 guinea pigs , 8 fish and 2 birds. My favorite though is my dog , Razor. My mom and I share the same middle name - Lynette. Pink is also our favorite color. I am a lifeguard , and I have saved 14 people from drowning in the past four months. Quick fact : I love fall out boy. Yes , I have two last names,  Esser is my moms , while Whidden is my dads , thus we have Esser-Whidden. My little brother , Lex also took both last names. He is always telling people  "Ivy is incredibly insane. " he even taped a sign that read that to my door once before, Of course I ripped it down. So now that I told part of my story - go off and have an adventure , but do not step in poison ivy ! That stuff is crazy. 

~ Ivy_The_Mermaid

My Most Important Rule

I am human. The difficult thing about being human is mainly-other humans. I have to be in constant contact with other people at all times of my life. Now, this can be good, and this can be bad. One of my only life rules would be : I do not let anyone take my sparkle. I do not ever let anyone have the privilege of ruining my good mood. If someone else is being grouchy, I do not allow them to take my sparkle. Even if everyone around me is down in the dumps, I still try to stand out and shine through. I do not let my sparkle be taken, but I do try to share my glitter ! A good way to do that is to smile ! (: A smile can brighten the room. A second way to pass on the happiness would be to compliment at least three people a day. Whether it is on their hair, clothes, or their personality ! Remember, glitter makes everything better, so sparkle on !!!! ~Ivy_The_Mermaid